There are many factors that can detract from a woman's ability to enjoy sex:
1. Pain during sex. If you are currently experiencing muscular, joint or unspecified vaginal pain during sex, your body is trying to tell you that something just isn't right. The fix might be as simple as changing to a more optimum position, addressing vaginal dryness, or it could be a more complicated reason that demands professional advice.
What can I do? If you are experiencing pain during sex, it is wise to visit your doctor. This is a very common concern and many times it can be properly addressed in a primary care setting.
2. Other pains. Headaches, injuries, illness, chronic pains- even if the pain is minor, this can interrupt your brain's ability to experience more pleasurable sensations. Your body is more concerned with trying heal itself.
What can I do? If possible, wait until you are feeling better, or talk with your partner about alternate ways to give and receive pleasure that are appropriate for the situation.
3. Fatigue and lack of time. Many women today struggle with the demands of finding the time to care for family, working their jobs, maintaining a home, finding time for personal pursuits, and still maintaining a romantic relationship with their partner.
What can I do? Schedule a regular time for you and your partner when you can truly focus on just the two of you. This is vital for your relationship. This may mean asking a friend, family member or babysitter to watch the kids for a couple hours each Saturday. Reconnect to what it was like when it was just the two of you.
Adjust your schedule to get more sleep, and try not taking on any additional responsibilities if you are feeling overwhelmed with your schedule. Regular exercise will also help with your stamina and energy level. Most importantly, find time for yourself; this can done while taking a walk, while working out at the gym, or having a few moments for quiet meditation before bed each night. Tend to yourself first, and you will feel more at ease with sharing yourself and your time with your partner. Your sexual wellbeing is an important aspect of your overall health, satisfaction with life and your relationship with your partner, and it is well worth the effort!
4. Vaginal dryness. Vaginal dryness can occur with inadequate stimulation before sex. It can also be the natural result of aging, especially post menopause, when a decrease in estrogen causes the vaginal tissues to become thinner and produce less natural lubrication. An Essential Fatty Acid deficiency can also be a contributing factor. GLA and Omega 3s may be quite helpful.
What can I do?
Try adding GLA to your supplement program. It is an essential fatty acid needed for healthy moist skin and also for hormone production. Women with hormone imbalances (seen as PMS, menopause symptoms) or dry skin, dandruff, etc. have these symptoms as a result of GLA deficiency. Painful intercouse can be a result of dry vaginal skin, and for this reason, we recommend GLA for any woman who appears deficient in the fatty acid. (also, see info on Ginkgo for Lack of Sensention below).
Gently encourage your partner to try things that will make you feel more aroused. Don't criticize, but instead guide them by showing them what feels good to you. You may also simply need a little more time to be ready. You may choose to keep a water-based sexual lubricant nearby. Be sure to only use lubricants formulated specifically for sexual activity, they should be clean and free of irritating ingredients. (NEVER use Vaseline, suntan lotions, or other lotions that may be petroleum or oil-based, these can increase your chances of getting an infection, and they can degrade the latex in condoms.) For vaginal discomfort and dryness due to low estrogen, your doctor may be able to prescribe a low dose topical estrogen to help "plump up" and moisten the tissues.
5. Lack of sensation. This can be due to a problem with the nerves supplying the vaginal or pelvic region. Also, lack of adequate blood flow to the area may also contribute to this problem.
What can I do? If there is a suspected problem with nerve function, you must visit your doctor. Otherwise, this is an area which topical sexual enhancement supplements may be able to help. They have ingredients in them that stimulate the mucosal tissue, bringing more blood flow to the surface capillaries which feed the small nerves, plumping the tissue and creating a sensation of warmth. Always proceed cautiously, and test with a tiny amount first to make sure it is not irritating or overly stimulating to this sensitive area.
Ginkgo Biloba has been used for centuries to improve circulation. It is one of the better researched herbs used for improved memory, antioxidant properties and general ciculation. Its circulatory benefits are not limited to the upper region of the body. Many people experience increased sex drive and more frequent and longer lasting climax as a result of better circulation to the sex organs. Remember to discontinue use if you are to have any type of surgery. Ginkgo is also contraindicated if you are hemophiliac or on blood thinners.
You may also try some new positions with your partner to deepen penetration or to apply more pressure towards the front or back of the inside of the vagina. Sometimes, more clitoral stimulation may be needed during vaginal penetration, which either of you can provide. Experiment!
Again, exercise may also help by bringing more blood flow and nourishment to the tissues and nerves of this area. You can also try sitz baths, and Kegel exercises for this purpose.
6. Medications. Medications are actually a very common cause of decreased sexual desire and pleasure, particularly antidepressants.
What can I do? If you have recently had a change of medication, talk to your doctor about adjusting the dose, or the possibility of switching to another kind.
7. Depression. Depression can cause you to lose interest in things that used to bring you pleasure, including sex. If you suspect you may be depressed, talk to a doctor or counselor about your options.
8. Abuse. Sexual, physical and/or emotional abuse can have a profoundly adverse effect on a woman's ability to experience a fulfilling sex life. Unfortunately, many women have suffered abuse at some time in their lives, and even a long-ago experience can continue to affect your life in adulthood. These wounds may take a long time to begin to heal, but it can be done. When you are ready, talk to a marriage couselor (even if you are single), or to a counselor who specializes in abuse for help.
In addition, sexual health and pleasure is greatly enhanced by the very same things that add to and maintain your overall health: good nutrition, stress management, adequate sleep, getting outdoors and proper exercise. Take care of your body and mind! |
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